Reminded myself today of the manic pace of Twitter, chockful of repetition [which I can live with, as long as I have the license to roll my eyes].
But there’s also lethal advice posing as healthy lifestyle choices.
— “You don’t need coffee, drink water.” (I’m an ardent follower of my good friend’s dad mantra: “Hey, water just rusts my pipes.”) — “You don’t need chocolate & sweets–eat fruit.” (Unless that fruit is nestled inside puff pastry, that whack-job needs to be rooted out and summarily dismissed to a low-bandwidth principality..)
So, retired folks, be wary. Stay vigilant. The Internet is crawling with loons like this.
Now just calm down everybody. I’m not trying to sell anything here. Unless, of course–okay, never mind.
Having just learned why deer don’t eat daffodils, I moved on to uses for stale coffee beans. (Not at all related, but that’s the thing, retired guys, why waste time on linear thinking?)
Son of a gun if I didn’t run across some life-changing tips…
Coffee Affection tells me to use it on my scalp to stimulate hair growth and improve its texture.
I can see it now (assuming anyone would be seen in public with me)…
Desperate friend in need of social contact: Oooh! I’m smelling some nice Italian Roast. Me (tilting my head toward him): Yep, double-duty! Great with my morning scone and an hour later, the dregs were in my scalp. Desperate friend (flicking soggy grounds off my shoulder): You are supposed to rinse’em out, right? Me: Eventually. But the ski cap contains it pretty well…Hey, where you going?
Yeah, the rest of the world feels like a complete pain in the, well, somewhere on your person.
Okay, not the restof the world, but let’s just call them the pandemic and the politically whacked-out corners of the world. Quote from a loved one: “This pandemic is pissing me off!” But here in retirement world, I have to feel grateful… — for my retirement partner, wife, fellow consumer of baked goods, dog-walking teammate, L, who clearly has a greater capacity/tolerance level for stomaching current events than I do. She can doom-scroll with the best of them. — for the dog who uses me as his personal piece of comfort-and-security furniture. Currently, his chin is on my lower leg, thus rendering any slight eye-twitch or muscle spasm on my part as an irrefutable message that I am reaching for a food bit to feed him. — for the pair of mourning doves perched on our fence, within easy reach of my bleary eyes, but brought closer by my trusty binoculars. (And no, neighbors, I only use them to spy on nature, thank you very much.) — for the fresh-baked 1/2 all-purpose, 1/4 whole wheat, 1/4 dark rye seed bread right out of our oven.
— for a day where–even in pandemic times–I have an array of choices of explorations…and distractions. — for my cameras/phone to record the choice moments of any given day. — for my/our health to pursue all of the above. [I don’t want to jinx next month’s annual exam, however…]
Here’s hoping you find similar corners of joy, safe from the craziness parade of 2021, aka ‘I’m not 2020, but I ain’t much better’.