Face it, it’s not like the sands of the hourglass ever reverse their course…
And as I bungled my way through the tedium, the frustration of untangling earbud wires, I realized there are times when the sands tumble at exponential rates.
— When you’re in a line at the grocery store and your ice cream is melting and there you are without your emergency spoon, and the customer in front of you:
decides to write a check after the scanning of the last of the 58 items.
strikes up a conversation with the extra-chatty, oblivious cashier starved for human contact beyond ‘Paper or plastic or your own tattered festering cloth bag or leave it in the basket or ‘I’m sorry, we don’t deliver when you buy it in the store’.
fumbles endlessly through the debit card process.
questions the pricing of an item.
trots out a raft of coupons.
fails miserably at remembering the phone number associated with the store’s loyalty club membership
finds a tear in the bag of an item, thus sending some poor newbie out among the aisles, who is then waylaid by two other customers en route to the unblemished bag of Brussels sprouts, and really…frozen Brussels sprouts? Shouldn’t the store just be giving those away?
— When you’re waiting for the gas station attendant to come take your order [Yes, I live in Oregon.] or for that same gas station attendant to return to your car, remove the nozzle and ask, with a wince, if you want a receipt.
— When you’re waiting for your phone to start up.
— When you’re waiting for your phone to update.
— When you’re waiting for your phone to give you directions to the nearest donut shop in a previously unvisited town. [Hey! Don’t judge me till you waddled a mile in my shoes.]
— When you’re untangling earbud wires. [Yes, that was list item #1, still not done.]
Okay, I’m sure I’m leaving out dozens from this list [Feel free to share them.], but for now…